Proper way to delete has_many :through join records? - ruby-on-rails

Question

class Post < ActiveRecord::Base
has_many :posts_tags
has_many :tags, through: :posts_tags
end
class PostsTag < ActiveRecord::Base
belongs_to :post
belongs_to :tag
end
class Tag < ActiveRecord::Base
has_many :posts_tags
has_many :posts, through: :posts_tags
end
When Post gets destroyed I want all of its associations to Tag deleted as well. I do NOT want validations on PostsTag model to run. I just want to deleted.
I've found that adding a dependent on the relationship to posts tags from the Post model works as I want: has_many :posts_tags, dependent: :delete_all.
However, the documentation on the subject seems to suggest that I should do this instead: has_many :tags, through: :posts_tags, dependent: :delete_all. When I do this, the Tag object gets destroyed and the join object remains.
http://api.rubyonrails.org/classes/ActiveRecord/Associations/ClassMethods.html#method-i-has_many
For has_many, destroy will always call the destroy method of the record(s) being removed so that callbacks are run. However delete will either do the deletion according to the strategy specified by the :dependent option, or if no :dependent option is given, then it will follow the default strategy. The default strategy is :nullify (set the foreign keys to nil), except for has_many :through, where the default strategy is delete_all (delete the join records, without running their callbacks).
How can I have the default strategy actually used? If I leave :dependent off completely, no records are removed at all. And I cannot just indicate :dependent on a has_many relationship. Rails comes back and says "The :dependent option expects either :destroy, :delete_all, :nullify or :restrict ({})".
If I don't specify :dependent on either of the relationships, it does NOT nullify the post_id on the PostsTag object as it seems to suggest
Perhaps I am reading this wrong and the approach that I found works is the correct way?

Answer 1

Your original idea of:
has_many :posts_tags, dependent: :delete_all
is exactly what you want. You do not want to declare this on the has-many-though association :tags, as that will destroy all associated Tags. What you want to delete is the association itself - which is what the PostTag join model represents.
So why do the docs say what they do? You are misunderstanding the scenario that the documentation is describing:
Post.find(1).destroy
Post.find(1).tags.delete
The first call (your scenario) will simply destroy the Post. That is, unless you specify a :dependent strategy, as I suggest you do. The second call is what the documentation is describing. Calling .tags.delete will not (by default) actually destroy the tags (since they are joined by has-many-through), but the associated join model that joins these tags.